Warning. This could possibly be very sappy, and with the way I feel right now it could be. I'll try not to be too sappy lol. I've been holding out on making this blog on purpose. It kind of signifies the end of this class, and I don't want it to end, so I didn't want to write it.
Before I go further, I'll give a little background on why I feel the way I do. Through various different circumstances and situations, I've been a shut-in for most of my 21 years, and outside of my big family, I don't know a lot of people. I'm probably the definition of a sheltered child. I generally have nowhere to go, and nothing to do unless I'm watching my little niece. As crazy as this might sound, and I'm not sure how I come across in class, but I'm still getting used to being around people.
It's so many things I want to say, a lot of different emotions I want to express at one time and can't. This class was the reason I tiredly yet happily got up every Tuesday and Thursday morning. I've met so many interesting, different, and friendly people with so many things to say, some of you even inspired me a bit (Including everyone in the room, I know one of you will read this, and I have a feeling 1 of the other main ones will too). In my previous 2 semesters, the general education classes were always very anti-social feeling. No one talks to anyone, and no one knows anything about one another, and in this class it was much different. Having these blogs and the things we've written in them, we know more about each other than 99% of this school ever will, and having a teacher as free-willing as Ms. Swan, as well as the topics brought up by our various guest speakers (ranging from sex, race, religion, poverty, the will to help, and living happily) made everything feel so comfortable.
It was like I had accidentally joined a school club that I originally had no intention of being in, but I was happy to be in it. I wish it was a club, because that would mean we wouldn't have to leave. Thank you Ms. Swan, had you not have been as "unconventional" of an English teacher as you are, this class might not have made the mark on me that it did. To everyone, especially those who are reading this, thank you for..... well... being you (God that sounds cornier than I want it to lol), and even being interested in what I had to say at all enough to click this.
PS. I'm sooooo tired of being single. It isn't fun AT ALL lol.
PPS. I'm hoping this slowly rising bump under my nose will be gone before class Tuesday lol.
Johnny,
ReplyDeleteWell, it's flooding outside because of the rain and inside because of my tears. I know. You warned me. "SWAN, THIS BLOG WILL BE SAPPY." However, I thought I could put on my big girl panties and take it like a woman. I couldn't, and I am crying.
Yes, you've got it. Well done. Bravo. You've left me speechless.
Oh, well, you know I have more to say than that with my chicken-scratch blue ink. In case I don't have an opportunity to say the following on Tuesday (and, by the way, it is much more interesting to listen to you all than to talk about clogged colons and untimely periods), here I go:
What I have come to realize is that the work that we have done this semester (not the syllabus work which we remarkably completed while having fun) is nothing sort of magic. You see what we have done here is create a space to discover ourselves and to learn about others so that we can use our community to support us in our journey for personal and social change. You chose to keep showing up for class (even at damn 8 a.m.) and gradually connections between ideas, between words, and between people were made. Now, when problems arise in our lives, in our worlds, the faces in the room are no longer strangers but kindred spirits. While some of us may achieve fame for big bold efforts to raise our voices, many of us will count our lives by the sum of experiences in which we can say, in small ways, that we were true to ourselves and we affirmed the existence, the humanity, of those around us to keep our little corners of the world happy. You have done so for me this semester, and that's revolutionary love.
Thank you for your presence in my life.
Jessica
P.S. We should form an "I'm so tired of being damn single" club. That would ensure we wouldn't leave each other.
P.P.S. Try some toothpaste on the bump.
Johnny, I'm so glad you said it first. I too have been thinking about the end and what was I going to say for our last blog. You said it so well! Class did feel more like a club. I am so glad I got to know you and you have a great smile!
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