Already Having 1020 Withdrawls....

As the title says I'm having 1020 withdrawals already lol. I can't believe most of us might never cross paths again, and now I need to adjust to not needing to think of the class at all, which will most likely include this little class blog as well.... I said in my previous blog that a few of my classmates inspired me, and in the last day I was inspired by another classmate. Seeing someone else go up there and demonstrate their talent, putting it all out there like that, made me want to do the same.

I had three ideas for my presentation, one was an actual topic, one was a personal background story (which I gave a rushed version to Ms. Swan after class), and one was...... singing..... the more I think about it the more I wish I would have done it. Its just that I haven't sung in front of anyone in so long that the thought alone makes me nervous. However, crying over unspilled milk (yes, I said that on purpose) won't get me anywhere and like everyone else all I can do is move on and hope to grow from it.

As this is after the class has ended, no one will probably see this, and this is possibly my last blog as  well. So with that said, I'm signing off. This class was an experience I won't forget, bye. (smiles, winks, and waves)
: )

Hmph... I'm Sad...

Warning. This could possibly be very sappy, and with the way I feel right now it could be. I'll try not to be too sappy lol. I've been holding out on making this blog on purpose. It kind of signifies the end of this class, and I don't want it to end, so I didn't want to write it.

Before I go further, I'll give a little background on why I feel the way I do. Through various different circumstances and situations, I've been a shut-in for most of my 21 years, and outside of my big family, I don't know a lot of people. I'm probably the definition of a sheltered child. I generally have nowhere to go, and nothing to do unless I'm watching my little niece. As crazy as this might sound, and I'm not sure how I come across in class, but I'm still getting used to being around people.

It's so many things I want to say, a lot of different emotions I want to express at one time and can't. This class was the reason I tiredly yet happily got up every Tuesday and Thursday morning. I've met so many interesting, different, and friendly people with so many things to say, some of you even inspired me a bit (Including everyone in the room, I know one of you will read this, and I have a feeling 1 of the other main ones will too). In my previous 2 semesters, the general education classes were always very anti-social feeling. No one talks to anyone, and no one knows anything about one another, and in this class it was much different. Having these blogs and the things we've written in them, we know more about each other than 99% of this school ever will, and having a teacher as free-willing as Ms. Swan, as well as the topics brought up by our various guest speakers (ranging from sex, race, religion, poverty, the will to help, and living happily) made everything feel so comfortable.

It was like I had accidentally joined a school club that I originally had no intention of being in, but I was happy to be in it. I wish it was a club, because that would mean we wouldn't have to leave. Thank you Ms. Swan, had you not have been as "unconventional" of an English teacher as you are, this class might not have made the mark on me that it did. To everyone, especially those who are reading this, thank you for..... well... being you (God that sounds cornier than I want it to lol), and even being interested in what I had to say at all enough to click this.


PS. I'm sooooo tired of being single. It isn't fun AT ALL lol.
PPS. I'm hoping this slowly rising bump under my nose will be gone before class Tuesday lol.

*scratching head*

I am such a freaking ditz sometimes....
I scheduled a meeting with my adviser last Thursday, and apparently all I heard was that it was scheduled for November ???? on Monday at 11:00. So I get up this morning, for a meeting with my adviser, go to the office and waited 5 minutes before I went in. I go in ready for my meeting only to quickly find out that my meeting is actually next Monday on the 14th..... I'm not used to mixing things up like this, but it's been happening pretty frequently this semester and it sucks monkey balls. I'm already the baby/dumb one of my family, and stuff like this only makes it worse lol.

Anyways, I can't wait for next Tuesday... Saint's Row The Third comes out!!! YAAAAAAAY!!! Then it gets better for me, because the next week WWE 12' and King of Fighters XIII come out just in time for Thanksgiving Break!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!! All I'll need is to see my family from New Orleans and everything will be perfect. Only an assignment during that week or a test to study for the next week could ruin Thanksgiving for me.

Well, since we don't have class this week, whoever is reading my blog (and everyone else too), I'll see you next Tuesday. : )
Ms. Swan, I'll see you Thursday for our meeting lol.

Saying it out loud...

Early sidenote: The judges on X-Factor (particularly Simon) were so damn catty, it was uncomfortable to watch. I'm just glad Simon kept Melanie, and the brunette Bieber twins and the crazy Memphis dude went home. On to the topic (that got longer than I expected).

No this isn't something deep and profound, you should know better if you're reading my blog lol. In class yesterday morning, we were asked to read our papers out loud, in order to see hear whether what we had written sounded right or not, and after class, the conversation about games like Saint's Row and Grand Theft Auto popped into my head the same way. Throughout the conversation, all I could do was laugh at how absolutely, certifiably crazy it sounded to describe the things you can do in the games lol. Hearing, "You can sleep with hookers and run over elderly people" while most of the girls looked as if they were thinking "Why on Earth would you want to do that?" was hilarious to me, but it made me think of how crazy it sounds to other people and why they'd be against them.

My currently 9 year old niece loves Saint's Row 2, but when I saw her throw a policewoman into a burning car without even trying, it freaked me out and I stopped letting her play it until I came to terms with it. I had to remember that me and my older nephews and nieces grew up on Mortal Kombat and Doom, and we have yet to try to rip someone's spine out like they do in those games, so I trust in my smart little nieces and nephew to know better than to be influenced by those games as long as they're taught right. My little niece and nephew however do live in a place where it's cute for little boys to want to act "gangsta" and try to rub on girls booties at 5 years old, or the ass shaking little girls get taught at 4 years old but that's an entirely different issue. Well, that's all I've got for now, bye! ; )

Sidenote: Oh, and for the record, my 9 year old niece will kick your butt in Smackdown Vs. Raw 2011, and soon, my 4 year old niece will too. She's already asking how to pick up the steel stairs lol.

PS for Ms. Swan in response to my post before this one: Disgaea 4 is a really hard one to explain, it's a strategy RPG (think chess with characters and magic) about goofy demons fighting amongst one another in the netherworld, and in this one a vampire with an obsession with sardines leads a fight against the "Corrupterment", the government of the underworld to restore the balance of good and evil. I play it mostly for the silly story. Here is the website if your really curious. Aren't they the cutest looking demons ever?

Too Much "Fun"?

I know a blog isn't due for like two weeks, so no one is likely to see this, but I'm bored. : (

I'm not sure whether her age had something to do with it or not, but apparently it's possible to have too much "fun".
Well, with that said...... Don't have too much fun with those "fun bags" lol. Well.... To those who see this, see ya'll next Thursday. *winks, waves, and goes back to playing Disgaea 4*

A Fear of a Lack of Interest...

I'm starting to notice I'm really bad at expressing my interests, and it's got me wondering how many other people are like that... For instance, I've never once attempted to talk about music or the singers I like (Brandy, Kelly Rowland, Jazmine Sullivan, Fantasia and lots of other R&B/Urban artists, with some K-Pop thrown in), or the video games I play (mostly fighting games and RPGs). Though what I noticed when I thought about it was that, only a few of us have really went much into our interests in our blogs lol.

I'm personally so conditioned to keeping my interests to myself that I assume no one else is interested or will care even if I told them, and when I do end up talking about them (wrestling for instance) I end up saying something negative like "I have no clue why I still watch this," or I'll point out something as stupid or fake. I guess it's a defense mechanism to the usually inevitable "You still watch wrestling!?" or "Wrestling is so fake" comments. Maybe some of us are afraid that we'll make a blog gushing about something we like and get 1 reply.... which is by default since Ms. Swan always leaves a comment lol.

I'm shocked I've typed that much about this so I'll rename my post now. *goes to rename post which was originally "Thoughts"* I just noticed I kind of basically made a post about a fear of rejection so I gave it a more appropriate title lol! This little blogging thing actually gave me some self-realization about something I didn't actually notice was in me. Hmph... Anyways, bye.

Sidenote: I don't even feel like smiling, winking, or waving after that lol.

Autopilot Mode

Yep, I'm on autopilot/randomness mode again. It's 4:00 in the morning, and procrastination (that evil witch) is trying to convince me to go back to sleep instead of making my blog which is due in 4 hours. Well, I decided not to listen to her, so now I'm up trying to make this blog with nothing in particular to talk about and this cold is making it worse lol. I'm not sure whether I mask it well, or whether no one was paying attention, but I have a terrible cold. My head hurt all day during class yesterday, my nose was runny, and I was still drowsy from the medicine I took for it two days prior. Unless you just like to be drowsy/high all day, NEVER take what I took (I'm told it's the same stuff put in "sizzurp", a popular ummm.... drink) for anything lol.

I still have a few things stored in my head for later blogs, but right now, I feel too bad to want to elaborate on them. It's now past 4:40, and I'm really cutting it close now, so I close this out now. Bye. (waves and winks lol)

PS: I really like this class. I may not be shy with complements but I don't do sucking up either, so I mean that. : )

I Feel Congested.....

Noooo, not that type of congestion, I'm talking about my mind from all of these class assignments and tests. This coming week has somehow quickly become hell week for me. I don't even have a full time class schedule (I'm terrible at focusing and multitasking, and I've probably committed a criminal offense in procrastination on multiple occasions, so I try to keep it small) so I know others are feeling the pressure way more than I am, but why is it almost like all the teachers seem to schedule tests and important assignments at the same time? What's funny about it is that a lot of the teachers usually have the same intentions to keep a work load off of their students, and end up still causing their students to have test (or the equivalent of one depending on the class) and homework assignments each due for all of their classes in one week, and not know it lol.

The good thing about it sometimes is that you end up with no major assignments for the week after, so YAAAAAAAAY!!! for next week if your schedule ends up like mines should. If you still can't catch a break, I give you my condolences and I'll give you a personal pat on the back if you want lol.

........ Goes back to doing one of many homework assignments ...... : (

UGH!!!

I have a bunch of ideas in my head for this post, but I guess I'll talk about the one bothering me the most. Being shy and awkward is sooooo frustrating. My problem isn't even so much being shy, it's the awkwardness that bothers me. For instance, I'll see someone I know or want to speak to, and I freak out inside thinking they won't speak back or want me to speak to them and I end up saying nothing.

Earlier today I saw someone eating during class, and I wanted to say "Where did you get that from? It looks good." Instead, I kind of just stared at him, then he looked at me, and I stared a little while longer and said nothing. It felt so awkward, and maybe it sounds paranoid, but I feel like my combination of shy and awkward causes people to think I'm either stuck up or weird lol.

I guess I'm too much of a worry wart.... It was nice getting that off my chest. Bye!

Passion

I really didn't expect a "general education" class to make me think about what I consider my passion. The past two visitors and what I'll call the class motto of "passion" have really made me think of what it is that I would wake up at 4:30 in the morning for lol. I thought I wanted to do something that involved fixing computers because I've broken SOOO many of them. My current major is engineering technology, and I thought it was going to teach me how to fix computers or whatever, but the longer I've been there, the more I feel out of my league. At this point I'm very sure that by (at most) next fall, I'll be in a different major.

I came to college to find something that I don't mind doing that will allow me to live comfortably and take care of my parents. Now, part of me has actually started contemplating actually looking in to taking singing classes at school, since it's the only thing I feel like I'd be passionate about. I like reading people and trying to determine personalities so I'm likely to try psychology, or I might become an IT and troubleshoot computers or something. Either way, I've been given something to really think about so I guess the mission was accomplished lol.

At first I thought I was the only one still trying to find their niche, but listening to some of my classmates (possibly you lol) made me realize I wasn't. Kind of comforting.....

Sidenote: Oh, and I got my earphones. I read that they're very durable and the very high average of the reviews with how many people had reviewed them and the price swayed me to these. I LOVE them, but my only problem with them is that if it's hot and I have them on, my ears are going to get hella sweaty lol. (Thanks for the suggestions)

Hmmm...

It's 11:30, I'm listening to 2NE1, and I can't think of anything to blog about, so randomness here we go lol. I actually want to do a post about my personal thoughts on blogging and possibly a more in depth version of an intro I guess, but I guess I'll save those for later since I'm feeling more random right now.

My refund check came earlier today, YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!! I want to buy these, I need new headphones, but $150-$200 for some headphones? The realist in me knows that NO headphones are worth $200 but the impulsive brat in me wants "the best". Any good alternatives or anything? I'm sick of needing new headphones every 3-6 months.

Having my second library tour was...... interesting? Ms. Swan (Oh, hi *waves at you*) being around is definitely going to keep it from being boring lol. For the record, I read the Lois and Katrina papers, and knew what they were about (focusing on writing your feelings instead of structures and not being afraid to acknowledge dark, disregarded, or hidden things you otherwise wouldn't), but I hate speaking in front of lots of people. It makes me feel like I've been shot in the stomach by butterflies, and I'm already regretting putting that. It's now 12:01 so I guess I'll close out on that note. Bye!

Sidenote: The Lois paper was a nice read, but over half of it had nothing to do with the point. Not a big deal, but that just sort of bothered me a little lol.

Helloooooo!!!

Hi, Ms. Swa........ Oops, I mean, hi readers. Welcome to my personal/school blog. I guess I'll be blogging about whatever random thing that I choose to blog about (or whenever a mandatory blog is due). Since this is an introductory post, this will be short.

My name is Johnny, and I'm a nerd with generally nerdy interest like video games, anime, wrestling, an inherent interest in anything Asian, you know, nerdy stuff. I'm really into R&B music or Urban Pop as I like to call some of it. I also watch alot of "trashy" reality shows, like Bad Girls Club, Basketball Wives, and Big Brother to name a few.

I don't believe in trying to be anything other than who or what you are (and no I'm not channeling Lady GaGa), and I intend on keeping my post the same way.

Natural.

I'm not going to try to be funny, or try to be interesting, or try to like something that I don't, either you'll like it or you won't and we will see how this goes (or if it even lasts lol). Annnnnd that about wraps this intro up. Bye!